The Chap-athlon MMVIII

The International Chap-athlon were held in early December, allowing all able-bodied and like-minded Chaps to gather together in the spirit of Athletics and Spirits. Both were in good supply, the latter mainly in the form of Gins & Tonics and Port.

Sipping the inaugural and inevitable G&T

After taking care of the necessary hydration, we were
getting serious & ready for the Athletics. This required
us to walk over to the Market Square. The weather was
not cooperating, so these Games were cut somewhat short.


1
The first event was to be Velocipede Polo, but due to bad
weather and lack of proper equipment, we settled for
Cricket instead. A proper Victorian Gentleman must be
able to set up a game of Cricky anywhere, anytime:

In the excitement we lost count of the wickets and points
and such, so no winner was declared.


2

Next event was something less familiar to us Gentlemen, as the
sport is of Far-Orient origins. Maj. Coastnail once brought a
chinese Shuttle-cock from his cruises, which implored us to
try our hand (or foot, to be more precise) in this challenging
second event. However, we decided to ante up the challenge
by continuing to drink our G&Ts while playing, yet not
allowing to spill any!

As this sport has, actually, no competitiviness, and is
in fact rather a pass-time of skill, cooperation and dexterity,
no winner was declared in this sport, either.

3

The last event was Duel. This, also, becomes very naturally to all British Gentlemen. Due to recent unpleasant events involving fire-arms in Finland, we decided to use water-balloons instead. The range and aim of balloons is radically different from guns, so a few rounds were "lost" to experimenting. For example, the 10 steps were reduced to 5, and then only 3, in order to keep the event more exciting and successful. Even so, only 2 or 3 hits were recorded, which proves that the Duel is quite difficult a sport!

No winner was declared in the Duel, either. It would, therefore, be rather proper to say, that all of us were winners at the Chap-athlon MMVIII! All had a good time, and the 'Thlon will very likely become an annual event. We will keep you posted for the MMIX Games with the Society Newsletter.

After the sports, we headed back to the Club, where many Important & Topical Matters were discussed in concerned yet constructive spirit, but as this is not the "Society for Historical Studies & Geo-Political Theories", there is no point in disclosing those discussions here...

The Society Staff wishes a very Merry Christmuchwanzaa to one and all!!

PS: Most of the photos in this Issue were by Dr. Jones, Esq, for whose services the Society thus expresses hearty thank-yous.

Welcoming our Antipodean delegation

Here are a couple of deguerrographs of the Helsinki contingent out at the Port of Helsinki to greet Dr. Wensworth, Esq, upon his arrival in the northern latitudes:

Illuminatory excess

DL&GotS,

a truly delightful light show was observed here at the Antipodean chapter yesterday. Splendid! Bravo! One does not exaggerate as one says that the flashes were more frequent than at a Celebratory Personage's divorce announcement address.

New Amsterdam Redux

Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State Building

Greetings, dear Readers!
This Autumn Yours Truly partook in a quick trip to New Amsterdam. An esteamed colleague from the Finnish Single Malt Society happens to work for the "Phinn-Aero" carrier, so through him we were able to get ourselves affordable tickets for the crossing. And through my connexions in N.A., we were able to lodge for free in the Brooklyn-Borough.

Our gracious host, Signore Forte, Esq. at his residence

I tried to meet a few of my old friends & colleagues, but also show the most important bits to Mr. von Lapp, Esq, along the way. We wondered the city far and wide, stopping for lunch with friends, and doing some (window)shopping along the way.

Vertical Downtown

Plenty of tall buildings to photograph

Two ladies from Europe, Ms. Essi & Ms. Tuula

A former colleague Ms. Ciao-Ping, with a random Mormon Missionary

The weather was nice, sunny the whole time, but chilly enough to make gloves almost a necessity. As it was getting near the All Hallow's Eve, some funny things were seen around town:

Bulls on Parade, Wall Street

Various Halloween necessities

Mr. von Lapp & a poster of the very funny comedienne Ms. Tina Fey

Naturally we visited some of my favourite commercial watering-holes & restaurants, while also, unfortunately, did not have enough time for some others...

The Burger Joint at Le Parker Meridien. The only thing missing was some Grey Poupon for the Hamburgers.

Mr. von Lapp & Ms. Keens, my favourite purveyor of quality Single Malt Whiskies

This time we only spent three whole days in the City, but it is most certainly worth another, more leisurely visit, later on. Thank you again for the host, friends and colleagues for a great time. Untill we meet again, don't know where, don't know when...!


Yours Truly etc,
Paddlewick, Esq. / Society New World Correspondent

For Your Consideration: Enzed

DL&GOTS

The esteemed Lady X once again demonstrated her extraordinary organisatory skills, smoothly amassing our assembly to the faraway country of Enzed. Furthermore, she, and good old PW, Esq, have made it painful not to submit the required report to the society archives.

Short and sweet does it, except if talking of port, of course.
The equippers of Backpackers stolidly explained the deepest secrets of their caravan, and after a couple of hours' lecture, we steered our ride toward Queenstown. Mr. McEwings outfitted us with trusty planques to plow the snow on, and off toward Arthur's Pass we sped...



...to find this. Whereas this Land of Eternal Cloud is well blessed with the adorable white fluff, its meaner skyborne ilk constantly patrol the peaks and valleys.



Except, of course, when they don't, and one suddenly remembers why burnt sclerae are such a bad idea. The local optiquearian gained a new customer, and rhum-and-cocoa were applied liberally to help YT forget the prickling misery.



The population of Enzed - quite friendly, as such, and both markedly more stressed and agreeable than their Ozzian enemies - apparently consists of

1. tourists and other ski-planqueures
2. secretive land-sculptors capable of turning the meanest mountainside into pastoral idyll
3. lamb, and occasionally elk
4. jovial, but territorial motör-cyclistae
5. rich and idle Da Vincian heli-copteuristas.

Having chauffeured Lady X around the isle, I continued my journey to some of the further reaches alone - always bearing in mind the hunt for snow, and for rhum-cocoa.



Anticipating the esteemed panel's question, yes, one has formulated a Staunch Opinion of the suitability of these southern Alps for the well versed gentlebeing. The views - when available - are uplifting and refreshing, jolly well. The snow - when available, and not swept away with wind or shrouded in fog - is quite excellent when fresh, but horrid and unhealthy frozen by spring thaw. The height of the mountlets is sufficient for brisk excercise, but not enough for sustained effort and snow conditions. Oddly enough, the cozy alpine lodge with its crackling fire, furred floors, hearty timbers redolent of coniferous sap, pitchers of port gently swaying in the currents of mirth and merriment - all this is lacking, as the silly sculptors-of-pastoralities have neglected to build said lodges on the appropriate slopes. Instead, one is instructed to descend to the sea level for night, and trudge back up first thing in the morning, quite before a gentleman should ever consider opening the weary eye. If then; the ultra-violent antipodean solar radiosity scrapes the eye harshly indeed.



Yes, regrettably; these mountlets are beautiful to behold and good to shred, but they can't hold a candle to those looming spines of the world where port-laden lodges hidden lie.

Velocipede-montaigne

On an occasion, Mr. Esquireul and/or Maj. Coastnail, and YT, mount our Velocipede-montaignes, and head out to explore our bucolic surroundings in a leasurely yet sportsman-like manner. Yesterday, on one such trip, we even found some brand-new plank-trails in the Woods in the Far-North Helsinki! As the Autumn slowly works her ways up here in the North, the planks become increasingly slippery with rain and fallen leaves, so that one has to thread the trail rather carefully, and wish that Jeeves inflated the tyres properly prior to the jaunt.
Here, then, are some Photographicks from our recent Excursions:

Our muddy equipment after an outing

Maj. Coastnail negotiating a rather shaky-looking bridge


Mr. Esquireul, Esq, under the Ferryisle Waterworks


Our fearless explorers heading down a narrow and slippery new trail

Happy trails to all!!

Paddlewick, Esq.
Society Velocipede Excursion & Experiments Co-ordinator

Ports-of-Call

One of the pleasures and interests of long-distance travelling, is the opportunity to visit quite a few Ports-of-Call en-route to Pointe B. So it was with my Voyage to the Antipodes, for I had the chance to make acquintance with no less than seven international (Aero)Ports:

Port of Helsinki

The (in)famous Port of Heath-Row

A rather scary Daemon in Port of Bang-Cock

The Koala on Home Soil in Sydney, NSW

Looking a little lost in Port of Brisbane

Carefully not spitting any Chewing-Gum on the floor of Port of Singapore!

Giving a rousing speech, "Ich bin ein Frankfurter!" in You-know-where...

In the future I wish to visit the Port of Port, in order tour the Valley of Douro, and get me hands on some good Port!
In the meanwhile, let's keep on exploring!

W.P. Paddlewick, Society Port co-ordinator

Chop chop!

Mr. P partakes in the relaxed, contemplative sport of hack-y-sacque.
The expedition team expresses gratitude for the erstwhile company, and takes the liberty of assuming the HQ audit will brim with favourable, port-endowed mentions.

Back to Brisbane

My push-bike finally in the Tropics. The Moderate Zone starts 5m to the left.

The Bicyckle Expedition has finally come to a conclusion. All said & told, I logged in 1000kms, pedalling the pushie as far north as Yeppoon. From Yeppoon I did a day-trip to the Great Keppel Island, spotting some Hump-Back Whales on the way, and playing with Turtles along the Island's reef.
Later I rode back to the Beef Capital of Australia, Rockhampton (picture above), to catch a 12-hour Auto-Bus ride down to Brisbane. My first flat tire occured in Brisbane, as Wensworth and I were fetching some food from a near-by restaurant!
This concludes my reporting, but I am sure to weave a yarn or two later on, to interested listeners, along with a dram of good whisky or port.

Untill then, good luck and godspeed!
Paddlewick, Esq.

Koala making friends in Hervey Bay