For Your Consideration: Enzed

DL&GOTS

The esteemed Lady X once again demonstrated her extraordinary organisatory skills, smoothly amassing our assembly to the faraway country of Enzed. Furthermore, she, and good old PW, Esq, have made it painful not to submit the required report to the society archives.

Short and sweet does it, except if talking of port, of course.
The equippers of Backpackers stolidly explained the deepest secrets of their caravan, and after a couple of hours' lecture, we steered our ride toward Queenstown. Mr. McEwings outfitted us with trusty planques to plow the snow on, and off toward Arthur's Pass we sped...



...to find this. Whereas this Land of Eternal Cloud is well blessed with the adorable white fluff, its meaner skyborne ilk constantly patrol the peaks and valleys.



Except, of course, when they don't, and one suddenly remembers why burnt sclerae are such a bad idea. The local optiquearian gained a new customer, and rhum-and-cocoa were applied liberally to help YT forget the prickling misery.



The population of Enzed - quite friendly, as such, and both markedly more stressed and agreeable than their Ozzian enemies - apparently consists of

1. tourists and other ski-planqueures
2. secretive land-sculptors capable of turning the meanest mountainside into pastoral idyll
3. lamb, and occasionally elk
4. jovial, but territorial motör-cyclistae
5. rich and idle Da Vincian heli-copteuristas.

Having chauffeured Lady X around the isle, I continued my journey to some of the further reaches alone - always bearing in mind the hunt for snow, and for rhum-cocoa.



Anticipating the esteemed panel's question, yes, one has formulated a Staunch Opinion of the suitability of these southern Alps for the well versed gentlebeing. The views - when available - are uplifting and refreshing, jolly well. The snow - when available, and not swept away with wind or shrouded in fog - is quite excellent when fresh, but horrid and unhealthy frozen by spring thaw. The height of the mountlets is sufficient for brisk excercise, but not enough for sustained effort and snow conditions. Oddly enough, the cozy alpine lodge with its crackling fire, furred floors, hearty timbers redolent of coniferous sap, pitchers of port gently swaying in the currents of mirth and merriment - all this is lacking, as the silly sculptors-of-pastoralities have neglected to build said lodges on the appropriate slopes. Instead, one is instructed to descend to the sea level for night, and trudge back up first thing in the morning, quite before a gentleman should ever consider opening the weary eye. If then; the ultra-violent antipodean solar radiosity scrapes the eye harshly indeed.



Yes, regrettably; these mountlets are beautiful to behold and good to shred, but they can't hold a candle to those looming spines of the world where port-laden lodges hidden lie.

Velocipede-montaigne

On an occasion, Mr. Esquireul and/or Maj. Coastnail, and YT, mount our Velocipede-montaignes, and head out to explore our bucolic surroundings in a leasurely yet sportsman-like manner. Yesterday, on one such trip, we even found some brand-new plank-trails in the Woods in the Far-North Helsinki! As the Autumn slowly works her ways up here in the North, the planks become increasingly slippery with rain and fallen leaves, so that one has to thread the trail rather carefully, and wish that Jeeves inflated the tyres properly prior to the jaunt.
Here, then, are some Photographicks from our recent Excursions:

Our muddy equipment after an outing

Maj. Coastnail negotiating a rather shaky-looking bridge


Mr. Esquireul, Esq, under the Ferryisle Waterworks


Our fearless explorers heading down a narrow and slippery new trail

Happy trails to all!!

Paddlewick, Esq.
Society Velocipede Excursion & Experiments Co-ordinator

Ports-of-Call

One of the pleasures and interests of long-distance travelling, is the opportunity to visit quite a few Ports-of-Call en-route to Pointe B. So it was with my Voyage to the Antipodes, for I had the chance to make acquintance with no less than seven international (Aero)Ports:

Port of Helsinki

The (in)famous Port of Heath-Row

A rather scary Daemon in Port of Bang-Cock

The Koala on Home Soil in Sydney, NSW

Looking a little lost in Port of Brisbane

Carefully not spitting any Chewing-Gum on the floor of Port of Singapore!

Giving a rousing speech, "Ich bin ein Frankfurter!" in You-know-where...

In the future I wish to visit the Port of Port, in order tour the Valley of Douro, and get me hands on some good Port!
In the meanwhile, let's keep on exploring!

W.P. Paddlewick, Society Port co-ordinator

Chop chop!

Mr. P partakes in the relaxed, contemplative sport of hack-y-sacque.
The expedition team expresses gratitude for the erstwhile company, and takes the liberty of assuming the HQ audit will brim with favourable, port-endowed mentions.

Back to Brisbane

My push-bike finally in the Tropics. The Moderate Zone starts 5m to the left.

The Bicyckle Expedition has finally come to a conclusion. All said & told, I logged in 1000kms, pedalling the pushie as far north as Yeppoon. From Yeppoon I did a day-trip to the Great Keppel Island, spotting some Hump-Back Whales on the way, and playing with Turtles along the Island's reef.
Later I rode back to the Beef Capital of Australia, Rockhampton (picture above), to catch a 12-hour Auto-Bus ride down to Brisbane. My first flat tire occured in Brisbane, as Wensworth and I were fetching some food from a near-by restaurant!
This concludes my reporting, but I am sure to weave a yarn or two later on, to interested listeners, along with a dram of good whisky or port.

Untill then, good luck and godspeed!
Paddlewick, Esq.

Koala making friends in Hervey Bay

View Larger Map


The Society Cartographer kindly illustrates P-wicks voyages.
Update 2008-07-09.

Back to the Coast

Due to some problems with the Push-Bike, I deviated from my plans and took an Auto-Bus to the East Coast. As it was Friday, the Bus took me as far as Maryborough. It was the biggest Town I had visited all week: the Centre was several blocks in each direction! There was also a Bike-Smith, who took care of my 'pushie'.
While I waited for him to do his job, I walked around the charming town; it was cute, but not too much (i.e. Moomin-Valley Syndrome was absent), and had plenty of Heritage architecture. This is the birth town of the author of Mary Poppins, as was evident in this statue in front of her birth house:

There was also a big "Mary Poppins in the Park" Festival about to take place, this weekend, one presumes, with Motion Pictures and Chimney Sweepeing &c fun for the whole family.

Speaking of families, after I had done climbing in the best climbing tree I've seen so far, in the Queens Park, I ran into these youngsters. The Lady in the right asked if I would like to take a Photograph of her. As I did, the young Gentleman on the left rose up, too. He informed me, that once back home, I could show this Photograph to my firends and tell them 'these are who make the future young ruffians'. So now You know, too.

I pushed my bike to Hervey Bay, the Gateway to the Fraser Island, a wonderful UN World Heritage site: 75 miles long sand island, all of it a National Park. No paved roads, only sand paths barely wide enough for a vehicle. The ride was very bumpy even with a four-wheel-drive bus:



I spotted some turtles and a couple of Humpback Whales, but did not see the famous Fraser Dingoes.


Here's an unusual Column decoration from Toogoolawah: Elkhorn ferns used as flourishing Capitals.

More to follow later.
Good luck and godspeed!

Paddlewick

Fraser

DL&GotS,

we report with pride that our survey of the mid latitudes of the coast was expanded by a minor expedition to Batjala K'Gari and surroundings. This peculiar remnant of ice age sand blown in from retreated seas, compacted and recovered, then surrounded once again, illustrates a fascinating rapid alternative to the customary geological processes of terrain building. Of particular amazement are the so-called perched lakes - filtered rainwater of utmost purity and clarity, puddled in age-old compacted plant matter encatchments. The sand is a formidable opponent to expeditions, and having mired our carriage once on the deceptive surface, we entrust ourselves to local guides and conveyance.

Various more or less indigenous creatures inhabit the island and surroundings.

Yarr! A man!

P-wick reports via ansible from the remote hamlet of Yarraman. Apparently the dread dropbears have not attacked, despite ubiquitous warnings. We wish the best of luck for our intrepid adventurer!

This weekend we headed south for some cute and/or commercial villages, and some surf & turf. We ascended some 500m to Mt.Tamborine, where the village had a definite cute overload. Then down we descended, toward's the Ms' friends' party in Slweepy Hollow.
On the way we visited the rather over-the-top Party and Shopping Central known as Surfer's Paradise, which looks like a cross between Las Vegas and Miami:

As the sun set before we got there, some rather spooky rural roads were travelled in darkness. The party was a hoot and a half, with very good 'dutch-oven' lamb and chicken roast on open fire etc.


The second day we went snorkeling and diving in Byron Bay, the easternmost point of the Continent! I saw some wonderful schools of fishesh, a couple of stingrays, and a couple of little sharks. A good time indeed.

Tomorrow I'll be starting my bicyckle journey up north, hopefully all goes well!

Qld

DOWN UNDER PT. THE FIRST

Sydney

Brisbane

...arrived in Brisbane safe and sound. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for my trunk. They lost track of it momentarily in London, but were able to deliver it to Wensworth Residence a mere 30 hrs after my arrival.
W & the Ms. had rented a carriage for the day, so we drove around town for a bit. In the evening we enjoyed some local Bubbly in the Mt. Coo-Tha Botanical Gardens. Here W makes friends with an Ibis:

W & Ms. inspecting the Putting Greene at the Uni.

And here's asummary of my Mt. Coo-tha Expedition: quite a climb up to the observation area (about 2,5km distance), then quite a looong downhill on the other side. The brakes proved their worth :)

That's it for now; more to follow!
Good luck & godspeed.
Paddlewick, Esq.

Dear Ladies & Gentlemen,
I shall journey "Down Under" for a few weeks of R&R and bicyckling in The Colonies. I'll try to update this Blogge a couple of times per week, as my circumstances and constitution allows. I'm also hoping that Jeeves can keep track of my ... track, so to say, in form of an Electronick Map (or somesuch) and Photographics (Jeeves knows these things better). So keep an eye on this space and wish me luck!

Yours truly etc,
W.P. Paddlewick, the Society Antipodean Bicyckling Expedition Organizer

Jules Verne in space

Way to go, Mr. Verne, we salute you!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7321116.stm

Far East Travels, Part the Second

Yours truly accompanied by his trusty Jeeves arrived at the dawn of
summer at a city called Jiamusi in Heilongjiang province, the most
Northern and Eastern province in China.

Jeeves had studied a little Mandarin Chinese before the voyage, and thus
he soon managed to locate suitable accommodation for a gentleman.

During the old days, before us Britons came along bugging the Dragon,
this goose shaped province was used as a place to expel imperial
officials who had the misfortune to fall out of the grace of the
emperor; One might even think of the region as the Chinese version of
Siberia - and according to the natives, the winter really is almost
as frosty as on the Russian side of the border.
But I must take their word for it, since during my visit the temperature
was most agreeable at low twenties.

I was quite pleased with Jeeves' performance for arranging
such comfortable logging. Later on old J. disclosed that his
well deserved sleep was on and off disturbed by in-hotel phone calls
from professional ladies offering nocturnal delights. Needles to say,
Jeeves' wholesome moral sentiment gave him no opportunity to
condescend to any such seedy relations.

As the rising sun greeted us beyond the Pacific, it was time to get
acquainted with locale life and culture. The natives seemed to be
somewhat curious about the pale skinned foreigner, but nevertheless no
uncomfortable contact ensued.

In spite the natives attesting their home town being small and remote,
the streets were to the contrary quite lively and audible all the day long.

As to our hosts, they were always very hospitable. Whenever a meal was
served, a large round rotating table was stacked with an impressive
variety of delicious dishes.
Yours truly is ashamed to admit, that his culinary expertise failed on
numerous occasions to recognise the contents of dishes. Albeit
not always being quite aware of what I was sampling, I assure you the
old taste buds were very well tickled with the bewildering flavours
of the exotic delicacies.

After these delightful experiences it was very difficult to imagine,
that a mere forty years ago, approximately 30 million unfortunate souls
died of starvation during the worst famine experienced in human history.

Our hosts were kind to arrange a jaunt to the province countryside to
explore some Northern flora. Wandering around hilly nature reserves was a
most welcome undertaking after all the sitting around; after all, the
heart of an explorer yearns to the yonder.

Maj. Coastnail inspecting
the properties of a local bamboo
forest for use of Her Majesty's Navy

But after a few days honest countryside sightseeing, I instructed
Jeeves to arrange a train ticket to the Imperial City.

Many big red dots were neatly arranged
in a row along sight-lines, during a
mapping excercise

Arriving at Beijing, I must confess, that the local emperors certainly
knew how to show off their might. During the start of Qing Dynasty an
estimated 9000 eunuchs served in the forbidden city. According to my
calculations every single day for 25 year a poor chap had to depart
himself of his family jewelry as to gather up the required staffing
for the forbidden city.

Quite a splendid place to visit, allthought I must alert dear
Wensworth, that he will not be able to locate any of his http://www.guardian.co.uk/china/story/0,,1993358,00.html favourite
refreshments within the bounds of the Forbidden City anymore.

I can relate many more juicy details at the club, or one-on-one over a good whisky. Meanwhile, upwards and onwards, fellow explorers!

Maj. Coastnail, Esq; Society Anglo-Sino Relationship Coordinator

Hitting the Slopes

Goode tidings again!
The Society here, to report on the new Co-Operation between the good folks at Google (information gathering and storage) and Nokia (rubber boots & cable etc).
Using one of the Nokia gadgets, one can record, and view, the ground one has covered, and also share said information with friends. Below is a Graphick Interpretation of a recent ski-trip, over-layed onto a Satellite Image.

Mount Tahco, March MMVIII

Very handy for various explorations & exploits, one must say! No more need to consult Jeeves for current or previous (after one too many G&T or such) where-abouts. The White Areas of the Earth, and one's memory, are getting smaller and smaller!

We'll keep you updated.

Meanwhile, godspeed & good luck.

Paddlewick, Society Technical Advisor, Esq.

The State of the Southern Extremities

Dear G&LotS,



having recently surveyed the deep South, it is my solemn duty to bring you news that the noble culture of Cider has collapsed, apparently the result of vicious warfare between the greater evil of Strongbow and the lesser one of Mercury. The Good Old Homelands are the last bastion of decent scrumpy. We mourn.



Other than this shocking development, our survey was exceedingly educational and refreshing. Various wildlife was encountered, and we can finally lay to rest the suspicion that the Southern Areas have no snakes: we spotted two of the three species on this Island. The Tasmanian Devil brought us particular joy by presenting itself at our camp site; alas, twilight rapidly encroaching, our Photographuerre was not able to capture it on fickle film.



We regret to announce that the Passage to the Center of the World was not located this time, either.



Yours in &c, &c,
WW, DAoGCE, EDoHMRSSE

Words of Wisdom

Hullo, chaps & chapettes,
we here at the Society Papers offices have received and advanced copy of some very proper Traveller's Advices, soon to be found in finer Book Merchants near You. With(out) kind permission, I here offer you a glimpse of quite an important section within the book, regarding alcoholics and decent behaviour while overseas:
(we regret the bad quality of the printing, due to the proof-reading stage and copyright issues)






That said, let us all wet our whistle with, and by, exotic locals when possible and safe!

Paddlewick, Society Papers Editor